Hi I just wanted to tell you that I love you and you’re great and amazing and have a beautiful soul and smile and you’re like the most wondrous person I know and I’m glad the webs introduced me to such a force like you okay hope you’re doing well miss you
A
I don’t ever feel “wonderous” so thank you for this, i should print it out as a remind ahahah 😂
You are the kindest, most glowy soul on this planet. Thank you for sharing your glowy kindness with me for so many years, Coley. You’re an angel!
I really hope you and your loved ones are doing okay right now.
I also did a lot of thinking, healing, crying, writing, and grieving.
Most of the past two years were spent processing things, very much alone.
For a long time, I wouldn’t let myself think about the fact that I fell in love with that girl and that girl felt something back but we were both so repressed, confused and terrified that we couldn’t call it by its name.
But it was love…
Shame is a horrible, powerful thing.
Because shame is who it is, we don’t talk about it- giving it more power. Shame is this thing our ego creates to keep us safe but I’m not sure what it’s really protecting me from.
The weight of shame itself distorts so much that you can confuse safety for smothering. It can alter reality, it can cause you to break off into little fragments of yourself, it lies to the faces of people you love, it hides from the light…
All for what?
I often think about the fact that I’ve never really met myself because of the amount of hiding I’ve done. The parts of me that are ‘unworthy’ do not live in isolation. It lives alongside so many other facets of who I am, but unbeknownst to me, they all get shoved in a closet, starved for sunlight.
Because of this.. I’ve never really fully met myself.
I’d like to meet myself.
I’d like for you to meet me too.
I’d also like to never hide another day in my life.
i love him but i feel like all of antoni’s scenes on queer eye are bursting with this overpowering sense of unbridled chaos energy more and more with each season
a lot of y’all need to understand that gay people having a fraught relationship with sex/romance and repressing their desire for sex due to internalized homophobia and the reality of living in a homophobic society that teaches us that being gay is dirty is not the same as being asexual
“Maybe I’ve wanted you for all these years. I couldn’t call it by name before, but maybe it’s been there since I first knew you. I never felt that way about anybody but you. I’ve never loved a man. I never knew why before. Maybe it’s that.”
